Sunday, March 22, 2009

EVP - VOICES OF THE DEAD



The study of EVP concerns unexpected voices found in recording media or heard as an output of devices capable of processing voice, and is studied as a form of after death communication.Current research is showing that there is UNEXPLAINED PROOF for the EVP RECORDINGS, and that there is a clear need for further study.In practical terms, all people are seeking to understand the evidence before them. Many have collected very evidential messages, and are therefore inclined to accept that they are receiving messages from outside of our physical reality. Other members remain skeptical, but persist in experimentation with the sure knowledge that, whatever is causing the phenomena, it must be understood.

What You Need to Know

Mankind has long believed that it is possible to communicate with the dead. Attempts to do so have been made over the centuries through oracles, séances, mediums and psychics. Today, with a variety of electronic equipment at our disposal, there might be an easier, more effective way. And whether or not the results really are communication with the dead - or something else - the results seem to be quite real.

What is electronic voice phenomena?

Electronic voice phenomena - or EVP - is a mysterious event in which human-sounding voices from an unknown source are heard on recording tape, in radio station noise and other electronic media. Most often, EVPs have been captured on audiotape. The mysterious voices are not heard at the time of recording; it is only when the tape is played back that the voices are heard. Sometimes amplification and noise filtering is required to hear the voices.

Some EVP is more easily heard and understood than others. And they vary in gender (men and women), age (women and children), tone and emotion. They usually speak in single-words, phrases and short sentences. Sometimes they are just grunts, groans, growling and other vocal noises. EVP has been recorded speaking in various languages.

The quality of EVP also varies. Some are difficult to distinguish and are open to interpretation as to what they are saying. Some EVP, however, are quite clear and easy to understand. EVP often has an electronic or mechanical character to it; sometimes it is natural sounding. The quality of EVP is categorized by researchers:

* Class A: Easily understood by almost anyone with little or no dispute. These are also usually the loudest EVPs.
* Class B: Usually characterized by warping of the voice in certain syllables. Lower in volume or more distant sounding than Class A. Class B is the most common type of EVP.
* Class C: Characterized by excessive warping. They are the lowest in volume (often whispering) and are the hardest to understand.

The most fascinating aspect of EVP is that the voices sometimes respond directly to the persons making the recording. The researchers will ask a question, for example, and the voice will answer or comment. Again, this response is not heard until later when the tape is played back.

Where do the voices come from?

That, of course, is the mystery. No one knows. Some theories are:

* They are voices of people who have died. This is why many researchers go to cemeteries seeking EVPs (and often with great success). In this context, the phenomenon is sometimes called instrumental transcommunication or ITC.
* They are from another dimension. It is theorized that there may be many dimensions of existence, and somehow beings from some other dimension are able to speak and communicate with ours through this method. A good question is, however: How do they know English and other languages of our dimension?
* They come from the researchers' own subconscious. It's been suggested that somehow the researchers' thoughts are projected onto the tape.
* Some people believe that these voices are angelic or demonic in origin.
* Skeptics assert that there is nothing to EVP at all - that the "voices" are either hoaxed, random noise interpreted as voices, real voices already on the tape, or voices picked up from radio, cell phones and other such sources.

Whatever you may determine is the truth, always remember we live in a strange world and the answers to life are not easy to explain or are laid before us.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009


Are you predestined from birth to become one of the undead?

Hard Times Recipes


Rat And Mouse Recipes-

Mice aren't that bad. Especially not with chiles and tortillas! It's all how you look at them. When the big crash hits,or the next big natural disaster, you're going to drool for any extra mice running around your house. Most of these recipes are "Weight Watcher friendly" (Approx. 4 point value).

RECIPE FOR "Enchiladas El Mouse-O FROM EL HOUSE-O"

6 corn tortillas, 6 mice parboiled, stripped, boned, chopped, seasoned. 2-3 large red dried chiles soaked in water 5 min. l chopped green onion, cilantro for decorating. oil/onions. salt pepper to taste,

Make regular enchilada sauce by grinding the soaked chiles in the pot liquor, and straining well to separate the chile skin from the chile's red meat. Then, fry onions, throw sauce in for l minute. Set aside.

Heat tortillas on a greased skillet, drop into sauce until covered, pull out, then fill the sopping wet tortilla with about 2 tbs. mouseburger meat, roll up. Set rolls in a dish, line all six up. Pour remaining sauce on top. Decorate with any old cheese, l chopped green onion. Bake l5 min at 350 degrees. Serve with wine or if you are poor,drink tap water.

SHEPHERD'S RODENT PIE

Not every shepherd can dice a lamb every time his belly rumbles. So many have learned to make do with DICED FIELD MICE or RATS.

Take 4 potatoes, boil, mash, season, add cream, mash some more, line 8" pieshell with them.

Boil six medium sized mice. Rats are ok if you know what they've been eating. No Buick upholstery or graveyards.

If the rodents are the right size, you should have a cup of rat meat (depending if you've cleaned the carcasses well enough.) Season with salt, pepper, cayenne, add l cup blanched, chopped almonds, l cup cracker crumbs, l egg, (reserve l tsp for topping) making a burger. OPTIONAL: bell pepper, onions, cilantro, parsley, thyme, oregano, l can creamed corn, l can of those crunchy chinese things, water chestnuts, chopped olives, a dash of catsup or tomato sauce.

Fill the pie. Cover with more potatoes. Use egg/cream to wipe down pie so it toasts brownish in oven.

Remember, a rodent tastes just like a big rabbit. The taste of the flesh is identical. Ask any concentration camp prisoner or hobo.

TIP: when cooking rodents, pre-soaking up to 5 hours helps take away that pesky rodent flavor. AND the longer you cook it, with the other ingredients, the better the meat tastes.

Try this st.pattie's day favorite !!!


MOM'S RAT MULLIGAN STEW

1 1/2 lbs. SMASHED RAT MEAT (Your local butcher will grind for you) Approx. 2 large rats
1 family sized can vegetable soup
1 can kidney beans with juice
1 sm. can tomato sauce

First,brown meat,discard any greasy fat.
Combine and heat all the ingredients, then simmer 1/2 hour. Break up a couple handful of spaghetti and add. Simmer until the spaghetti is done.

Look for more great recipes coming soon..... (Human Flesh Blood Sausage)

Monday, March 16, 2009

WEED MYTHS EXPOSED

Because the government has always been so vocally against cannabis and the growth of marijuana seeds, quite a lot of myths and legends have sprung up around the drug to make it seem more dangerous. Here’s some of the more memorable myths related to marijuana:

Marijuana is a Gateway Drug

What we have here is a lazy interpretation of statistics. This misnomer is based on the fact that cannabis is the most popular illegal drug around, and as such the people who have used the less popular, harder drugs are likely to have tried marijuana as well.

If you’re still in doubt about this one, consider this: since cannabis was partially legalised in Holland in the 1970s, usage of heroin and cocaine have dropped substantially. If cannabis were a gateway drug, then the legalisation of it would cause an increase in these harder drugs, not a drop!

Cannabis is a More Dangerous Drug than Tobacco


While it’s true that smoked cannabis contains around the same number of carcinogens as a similar amount of smoked tobacco, this is a pointless comparison because of the relative usage. While a heavy smoker may easily work their way through 10-20 cigarettes in a day (and often significantly more), it’s very rare to find anyone who smokes marijuana in quantities even approaching that.

A 1997 UCLA study backs this up further, and states that even prolonged heavy marijuana use causes no serious lung damage. Meat, salt and dairy products present a bigger cancer risk than the humble joint, and for those who are still worried remember that all cancer and respiratory risks can be sidestepped by taking cannabis in baked goods!

Cannabis Contains Over 400 Chemicals, Which Proves it’s Dangerous


This is a half truth – yes, cannabis can contain this many chemicals, but this is very much a scare number. Not all chemicals are deadly, and to put this into perspective coffee contains 1,500 chemicals, while rat poison contains just 30. The take home message of this? The number of chemicals in a product has no relation as to how dangerous it is!

The Slang Term ‘420’ Comes From Police Codes

This is just plain wrong. 420 (pronounced “Four-Twenty”) is not police radio code for anything, and is not related to penal code. Nor is it because of Hitler’s birthday (April 4th), the date of the Columbine school shootings (this was terminology years before then) or based on the number of active chemicals in marijuana. The term actually comes from San Rafael High School in the 1970s, where some of the students would meet up at 4:20pm after class. The code was developed so they could talk openly about their plans without alerting their parents to their drug use!

Nowadays the code is so well known that this won’t work as a strategy. Some people use the term “420 friendly” to show their acceptance of marijuana use, and April 20th has become National Pot Smoker’s Day in homage to the students – who are now in their 50s.

Cannabis Damages the Brain/Reproductive System/Immune System


All of these claims have been levelled at cannabis on the back of some fairly shaky science. Let’s tackle these one by one:


* The brain damage accusation was the result of an experiment by Dr Robert Heath from the late 1970s. It claims to demonstrate brain damage in rhesus monkeys as a consequence of marijuana. It was however reviewed by a distinguished panel of scientists in 1982 and was found to have severe weaknesses: the sample was too small (just four monkeys), it failed to control experimental bias and crucially misidentifying a normal monkey brain structure as damaged! Subsequent studies have shown no evidence of brain damage.



* The claim that marijuana damages the reproductive system is based on two bits of research – one based on isolated tissue cells in petri dishes, and the other based on animal research. Both are invalid – the scientific community has stated that isolated cells cannot be compared to full human beings, and the animals in question were given near-lethal dosages of cannabinoids – far more than one would get from a ‘normal’ dose. Further to this, the animals that didn’t die in the testing returned to normal within 30 days. Suffice it to say, no studies of actual human populations have demonstrated any evidence of this!



* The immune system myth has the same problems as the reproductive ones – animals were given close to lethal dosages of cannabinoids making comparisons invalid. In fact, a couple of studies undertaken in 1978 showed that cannabis and hashish may actually boost the immune system in some!

People Have Died as a Direct Consequence of Cannabis Abuse

Not true. Scientists have carried out experiments on animals, and the results show you would need an extraordinarily high dosage of cannabis to be lethal. In fact, the amount of cannabinoids required to get a person stoned relative to the amount needed to kill is around 1:40,000. To put this into everyday sense, you would need to consume 40,000 times as much cannabis as would get you stoned to have a lethal dosage.

Let’s put this into further into perspective. Alcohol’s relative intoxication to death ratio is between 1:4 and 1:10. No wonder alcohol is responsible for the deaths of more than 5,000 people every year.

Cannabis is More Potent Today Than in the Past


This is a common myth based on bad data. The researchers who made these claims measured the THC content of marijuana seized in the early 70s, but fail to take into account the poor storage of the samples in question, which will have lead to a decline in its potency before any tests could be undertaken. Independent assessments on unseized street cannabis from the 1970s shows the potency is roughly the same as it has ever been.

These are far from the only myths around cannabis, and the drug is sure to attract more in the future. Remember, if it sounds dubious then look up the facts yourself. The old adage of “don’t believe everything you read” should apply doubly when dealing with facts about cannabis and marijuana seeds.

IS WEED THAT BAD FOR YOU ?

The dangers of cannabis and cannabis seeds are routinely touted in the media and by governments; in fact, the debate has been re-ignited in the press recently with the government’s decision to reclassify the drug from class C to class B. However, is it actually bad for you, and to what extent? We have a look at one of the country’s most contentious drugs…

What does cannabis do?


Cannabis ‘gets you high’, but what does this actually mean? In scientific terms, the use of cannabis has psychoactive and physiological effects; it changes your mood, can cause hallucinations, and increases your heart rate, lowers your blood pressure, reduces your coordination, concentration, and short-term memory. The noticeable effects can be comparable to a night of heavy drinking, depending on the user.

Is it very dangerous?

While some studies link cannabis to long term memory loss in some cases, they are inconclusive. There is also evidence to suggest that a minority of people would have a bad allergic reaction to use of the drug, similar to that of a mild to serious peanut or dairy allergy. The most serious effects of marijuana use stem from smoking the drug, but these risks are similar to those of smoking, and modern research has found that vaporisation eliminates these health risks.

Cannabis is in fact not as bad for you as legal drugs, such as nicotine or alcohol. Cannabis doesn’t show the same addictive properties or the long term health risks of either of these other drugs. Studies have also found that marijuana is not as socially destructive as either nicotine or alcohol use or abuse. The generally relaxing qualities of the drug (and the its illegal nature) mean it leads users towards private or secluded use as opposed to more dangerous ‘party’ drugs such as ecstasy or cocaine.

Heavy cannabis use (over 6 joint’s worth a day) has been linked to more serious health risks, but again most of these are linked to the smoking of the drug rather than effects of the drug itself

CHECK OUT THIS AND OTHER NEW ADDITIONS AT DARKFLAMEDESIGN

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Exercises To Stop Premature Ejaculation NOW

According to recent statistics nearly 40% of all men suffer from some form of premature ejaculation making it a bigger problem than most people think. Despite these statistics that it is still seen as a shameful and embarrassing condition making online, anonymous treatment the preferred method for more and more men who feel they are not satisfying their partners.

Exercises to stop premature ejaculation may conjure up some strange images and odd body contortions but the truth is that if you are suffering from a 'short fuse', one of the best ways to build your stamina and control your orgasm is to strengthen the muscles that are responsible for ejaculation.

The particular muscle that needs exercising is called the PuboCoccygeus muscle or PC muscle for short. This is the same muscle you activate when urinating to cut off the flow and while it is not nice to equate bodily waste with the act of lovemaking this is a place you need to start.

A simple way to find and activate your PC muscle consciously is when you go to the bathroom stop your urine mid-flow. This is your PC muscle moving to squeeze shut the various bits in your body that let the fluid flow (just like your semen) which in turn sends signals to nerves to stop the flow at it's source too.

Once you can voluntarily activate the PC muscle you can do Kegel Exercises which is a name for exercising the muscle in different ways to prevent premature ejaculation. Try holding the muscle tight then releasing every 5-10 seconds to start with then start playing with your rhythm. Hold longer for increased strength and at intervals for better control is the simple way of saying it but there is a lot of subtle nuance to it as well like any exercise.

The great thing about Kegel exercises to stop premature ejaculation is that you can do them anywhere at any time! No one can see you do them unless you choose to make funny faces so you can start achieving a better sex life right way!

If you want to know more about exercises to stop premature ejaculation and many other methods to increase how long you last in the sack search for the best guides on the net to curing this problem that leaves women unsatisfied and men anxious and depressed.

Will you be millionaire buying penny stocks?

Buying penny stocks has really grown in popularity throughout the years. It used to be that traders only would look at the mid and large cap companies, whether it be for long term trades or even day trades. But with the emergence of traders penny stock trading, the stock market has changed. People would used to have to have a big time bank account in order to bring in a high income. Mostly because you needed at least a few thousand dollars in order to buy just 100 shares of some mid cap stock. With trading penny stock though, the doors have opened for the working class people.

Will you be millionaire buying penny stocks? Well it's pretty hard to become a millionaire trading any market. Everyone knows the statistics, however penny stocks gives you an advantage that you can't find in most trading instruments: leverage. With the kind of leverage that penny stocks give a trader, it means that the average Joe on the street can play the market. Also, many of them have grown to be extremely successful traders, and it all started with trading these dirt cheap stocks.

People that brush off penny stocks as disposable, forget the fact that many gigantic companies have started off on the bargain bins. Imagine if you were able to buy shares in those companies when they were 15 cents a share? It's the kind of thing that would not only make you rich, but it also gives you some bragging rights. That's what buying penny stocks can do.

Some say that the stock market has gotten more realistic. Fantasy land is over and GAMBLING YOUR WAY TO RICHES is not an option anymore. You might get lucky a few times, but your constant loses can wipe you out sooner or later.

LIVE POLICE SCANNER FEEDS

CHECK OUT THIS COOL WEBSITE FOR POLICE SCANNER TRAFFIC FROM ALL OVER THE COUNTRY !!!!

POLICE LIVE FEEDS

Thursday, March 5, 2009

INCREASE SEX DRIVE FOR MEN

Sexual activity is nature's secret fountain of youth! Sex raises the level of life-extending substances - such as endorphins, DHEA, and growth hormone - while lowering the stress hormones that shorten your life span.

Unfortunately, a lot of people are missing out on these health benefits of sex. Take a look at your libido and find out how to live long and last long.

Nature's Viagra for Men
Even before 50 years of age, hormone levels begin to decline in men, often resulting in a lower sex drive and interfering with the ability to perform.

Also, by this age, most men have developed plaque buildup in the circulatory system that decreases blood flow to the penis. These factors contribute to erectile dysfunction (E.D.), for many men the most disturbing aspect of aging.

Chinese medicine has had a long, successful history of reversing the decline in male sexual potency. My father, a celebrated doctor of Chinese medicine, created an herbal remedy for low libido called "Dragon Male Formula," which can be found in some select Whole Food stores or online at askdrmao.com.

The formula, used to promote healthy functions of the testicles, circulation, and hormonal system, is made up of deer antler velvet, ginseng root, morinda root, Chinese Senega root, and horny goat weed - effective for both male and female sexual potency.

Additionally, for most men, physical fitness and activity can increase their testosterone levels and build confidence. Reduce stress, get enough sleep, and eat a diet rich in zinc, which is found in beans and legumes, Brazil nuts, brown rice, cashews, peanuts, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, wheat germ, and the richest source of it all - oyster.

Long Live the Female Libido

Women, as aging sets in, begin to experience a prominent drop in sex drive. This is largely due to a decline in the hormones estrogen and testosterone. Other factors that diminish female desire include childbirth, the onset of menopause, stress, depression, relationship conflicts, fatigue, poor self-image, and inability to reach orgasm.

To preserve and enhance the hormonal aspect of libido, I often recommend an herbal formula to my patients, called "Feminine Desire" that combines horny goat weed with the herbs dong quai, wild yam, ginseng, and the spices anise, ginger, and turmeric.

This formula promotes healthy endocrine system function, as well as stirring up vitality, energy, and natural desires. Other essential elements to restoring the libido for women are getting in touch with emotions, connected with their partner, and feeling desirable. This formula is also available in select Whole Foods stores or online at askdrmao.com.

Libido Enhancement
1. Eat for your libido! Warming and pungent, these foods can help motivate the body's fire energy: garlic, onion, scallion, leek, chives, ginger, cinnamon, fennel, cardamom, anise, turmeric, cayenne pepper, black pepper, and horseradish.

Deep sea and cold water fish, including halibut, salmon, sardines, and shellfish can increase libido by improving overall sexual health with their high concentrations of essential omega fatty acids.

2. Desire-enhancing remedy: Make chicken broth by boiling chicken stock with turmeric, cayenne pepper, onion, leek, chive, and ginger. Eat at least one bowl daily.

3. Rekindle with romance. In today's fast-paced world, most people have abandoned the romantic evening meals. Treat your partner to a sensual candle-lit dinner with a little wine to warm up the yang energy. (But drink moderately because too much will cause temporary impotence.) Romance can have a powerful effect on a person's emotions and can instantly arouse sexual desires.

4. Let's get physical! Physical activity has been clinically proven to improve sexual health - 30 minutes of daily walking, jogging, and other cardio exercise can be combined with tai chi or qigong for good results. Kegel exercises can help strengthen the lower pelvic muscles and help prevent prostate problems in men and incontinence in women.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Develop Psychic Abilities

Develop Psychic Abilities - wikiHow


How to Develop Psychic Abilities


from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Some people believe we all have psychic abilities. Some of us may have more natural abilities than others, the same way that some of us seem inclined towards music or mathematics. But just like any other skill, psychic abilities can be trained and enhanced. The following exercise can help to increase your natural psychic skills.

Steps


  1. Meditate. Experiment with various techniques until you find one that feels right for you. Remember, there is no right way or wrong way to perform meditation. It is only important that you are able to relax and focus your mind. If you continue the practice of meditation for any length of time, you will begin to notice the existence of your own spiritual energy. It is the connection to your spiritual self which provides intuitive information. Strengthening the connection to your spiritual self will result in an increase of your psychic abilities.
  2. Try to be more aware of your surroundings. Upon waking in the morning, make an effort to lie still for a few minutes without opening your eyes. Try to notice as many sounds, textures and smells as possible before you decide to open your eyes. This exercise if carried out for several weeks can greatly help to increase your levels of awareness and intuition.
  3. Listen. The act of listening is important in increasing psychic awareness, after continuing this exercise for some time you will begin to notice an increase in your overall awareness which affects your level of intuition.
  4. Pay attention to random thoughts and feelings. Keep a journal handy at all times and try to write down those thoughts that seem to come out of nowhere. You may notice after a while that patterns tend to emerge. Thoughts that previously seemed completely random and unconnected begin to form themes or recognizable ideas.
  5. Record your dreams in your journal. If you have been following the awareness exercise outlined above you will have noticed that your dreams are much easier to recall. Allowing yourself a few minutes to be still upon waking makes it much easier to remember dreams and with more detail, than if you rush out of bed in the morning and hurry to start the day. Try setting your alarm clock to wake you up ten or fifteen minutes before your normal waking time. Give yourself some time to remember your dreams and make a few quick notes in your journal.


Tips


  • These simple exercises can have dramatic results if practiced regularly. These steps are just a few of the many techniques available for increasing your perception of psychic ability. There are many other methods to choose from. In your search for information regarding psychic development, it is important to be wary of any methods which declare that psychic abilities are the result of external forces, or any teachings which insist that psychic powers are anything other than a natural human ability.
  • Sometimes, just seeing the ability being done by someone else will lead to yourself being able to do the thing. Note that this is only a temporary "shock" effect by your subconscious seeing the real thing being done
  • Practice, practice practice! If you are easily disappointed, psychic abilities aren't for you - you really need motivation and dedication to get to results.


Warnings


  • There is no scientific proof that such a thing as a psychic power really exists, but neither has it been completely written off. Some people might claim that what you are actually developing is an awareness of surroundings that better enables you to make assumptions based on other surroundings.
  • The effects of psychic abilities are poorly understood - you might harm yourself accidentally by overdoing it. However, this is for you to figure out.
  • The general public doesn't take it too well if you talk about anything related to psychic abilities or experiences.
  • “I shall not commit the fashionable stupidity of regarding everything I cannot explain as a fraud.” - C.G.Jung


Related wikiHows





Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Develop Psychic Abilities. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

FUNNY VALENTINE ALTERNATIVES

well,it's that time again....fat babies in soggy diapers shooting people in the back with love arrows, hold on while i puke.

As with all men it's time to put up or run. Since running away seems nice,and "cheaper",I have come up with some interesting "low cost" alternatives to buying stupid diamonds or flowers.

During these gloomy,dreary economic times...Your female counterpart shouldn't expect really nothing, but to show some creative thinking and "heart"....

Let's get started.....

1. CUT OUT A RED CONSTRUCTION PAPER HEART AND LAY IT ON YOUR JUNK....TELL HER THAT HER FAVORITE "STEAKHOUSE" HAS JUICY TENDERLOIN TONIGHT !!!!!

2. IF YOU GO TO YOUR LOCAL CEMETERY (USUALLY BY LATE THURSDAY ..BECAUSE THEY CLEAR OUT FLOWERS)...GO FOR A STROLL , AND "HANDPICK" A NICE SET OF BLOOMS. USUALLY YOU GET LUCKY IF YOU WAIT FOR A "RECENT" SERVICE,FOR THEY ARE THE MOST FRESH.BEWARE OF COPS AND GROUNDSKEEPERS THOUGH,TRY TO BLEND IN SERVICE (SAY YOUR COUSIN TED OR SOMETHING).

ONCE SHE SEES THAT SPECIAL BOUQUET FROM YOU , SHE'LL RAVISH YOU GOOD.

THIS ONE IS AN ALL TIME CLASSIC !!

3. FAKE A STROKE OR BACK INJURY THE NIGHT BEFORE ... (HAVE A BUDDY MULE KICK YOU IN LOWER BACK )....THIS TIP TOTALLY WORKS , YOU CAN BLAME SO MANY REASONS FOR YOUR "CONDITION"....STRESS , WORK , ETC.


A NICE VARIANT OF THIS IS GET YOUR NUTS KICKED INSTEAD ....SURE IT HURTS , BUT THINK OF THE MONEY YOU AND YOUR BROS WILL HAVE TO SPEND ON BEER AND STRIPPERS.....SWEET !!!



4. THIS ONE IS ALITTLE EXTREME (BUT VERY FUNNY).....
STEP 1 : RUN TO YOUR LOCAL MARKET AND GET A QUART OF BUTTERMILK,CLAMATO,BABY FOOD VEG (LIKE STRAINED PEAS OR CARROTS FOR EFFECT),CAN OF CORN.


STEP 2 ; GRAB YOUR BLENDER,COMBINE INGREDIENTS,ADD SOME ICE. BLEND FOR 30 SECONDS.YOU CAN STORE THIS EITHER AT ROOM TEMPERATURE OR COOL IN FRIDGE.

STEP 3 : VISIT THE MALL OR CLEARANCE STORE (ROSS OR MARSHALL). PURCHASE A CHEAP SET OF THOSE HEART / VALENTINE STYLED BOXERS.


STEP 4. : THE NIGHT BEFORE THE BIG DAY WITH YOUR "HONEY",DRINK ALL OF YOUR "JUICE SMOOTHIE". CALL YOUR BEST FRIEND TO COME OVER TO KNEE YOU IN THE GUT A FEW TIMES AND KICK YOU IN THE RECTUM. (LAYING ON THE FLOOR,AS YOUR FRIEND WALKS ACROSS YOUR GUT WORKS TOO !!!)


LAST STEP : WHEN YOU SEE YOUR VALENTINE BE WEARING THOSE SHORTS YOU BOUGHT. TEASE HER WITH A PEEK PREVIEW OF WHAT SHE IS GOING TO SEE LATER.

AS SOON AS SHE SEES HOW CUTE YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE HER DAY BE....BLAST A BOXER LOAD OF GOOEY,COLORED SHIT ALL OVER YOURSELF AND THOSE BOXERS.

THE SHEER SHOCK AND HORROR OF THE EVENT WILL GUARANTEE ,THAT NO VALENTINE'S DAY IS GOING TO HAPPEN.


Well, these are but a few suggestions to help put the beat down on your valentine's day problem. I am always here to help.